AuthorsBy Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin & Arthur E. Nowlin, LMSW, CAADC Archives
August 2020
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This article was written by Dr. Kim and Arthur Nowlin for Message Magazine : Drama Files
There May Be Steps You Can Still Take Marvin and Tina Essex first came to us for counseling in 2012. They have four children and live in a rural area of Michigan. He is employed at a local furniture store and she is a social worker for the State of Michigan. They have been married 17 years. The couple came to counseling because they had stopped being intimate with one another and started sleeping in separate bedrooms two years ago before that because Tina felt her husband was being unfaithful. She had become distant and wanted out of her marriage. Marvin suggested counseling and mediation to assist them in trying to reconcile their marriage. He had never been unfaithful, Marvin insisted. He thought Tina was just looking for a way out of their marriage. Tina, however, said Marvin used pornography as a means of stimulation, that she found his magazines and caught him on the computer on several pornography sites. This has added to her mistrust and anger towards him. She constantly revisits the lack of trust in their relationship and her husband admitted that he has lied and had been using pornography, but never has been with another woman. There was an all too common backstory to the very real and very now problems facing this couple. What Tina didn’t know is that Marvin was introduced to pornography by his uncle when he was only six years old and he was taught that a real man always did these kind of things. He didn’t know how to stop and he cried out for help many times but nothing ever changed. He broke down during the session and cried and said to his wife “ Tina you thought I was always unfaithful, but in a sad twisted way I was.” Tina responded by holding him during the session and she asked why he didn’t tell her about the problem.“I was so ashamed and didn’t know how to stop or ask for help. I know I have been wrong, but please Tina stay with me and let’s work through this.” Since the truth about his introduction into pornography by his uncle came out, the couple has reconciled and Marvin has moved back into their bedroom. Tina is more sensitive to his past and wants to be a support to him and apologizes for her mistrust regarding another female in Marvin’s life. Today, the Essexes have decided to continue their counseling and Marvin has not visited any pornography sites, or purchased magazines in over a year. Tina is working on letting her guard down and once again learning how to enjoy the benefits of her marriage. Marvin is also taking a personal interest in what Tina needs and being a good father to their three children. Marvin continues to be grateful for the counseling offered to he and his wife and realizes the treasures he has in his family and how he almost lost them all. It is important to understand when considering divorce that you exhaust every option available. Many couples have lost their interest in their ability to be loving and compassionate towards one another. However, it is never too late to continue trying! When you want out, consider the last-moment understanding that helped the Essexes:
16 Comments
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Thomas W.
1/19/2016 10:19:29 pm
Never stop trying. If you have the patience to see it though it will be worth it. We went to see the Nowlin's and it was well worth it. Christian counseling was the direction we decided to go and thank God we did.
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Mato Ray
3/28/2022 09:53:59 am
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Sam Sanders
1/20/2016 05:48:17 pm
I wanted out, but I stayed. God is able.
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Jason G.
1/30/2016 07:08:17 pm
I have tried everything but counseling. It has been a difficult twenty years of marriage and I do want out. Please help
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Mary Hastings
1/30/2016 07:13:22 pm
Jason I just went through a difficult divorce. My husband lied and continued to be sneaky. I followed him one night and I caught him with his so called friend. But they were sitting close and kissing. So I said no more. He asked me to work it out but how many times is enough to accept. I feel I deserve to be happy. But get this he and the girl broke up. I have found peace in knowing I did what was best for me.
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Jason
1/30/2016 07:14:09 pm
Thanks Mary
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Tara Wilson
1/30/2016 07:17:44 pm
I prayed night after night for God to change my husband. But God needs a willing soul. I worked on me and still nothing changed. So I moved out but six years later we reconnected he gave his life to Christ and now we are remarried. God is able. God is the key.
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Pastor D.
1/30/2016 07:21:57 pm
I really enjoy your tv program and your articles. I have been a fan of the Nowlin's for many, many years. They speak truth, God's truth. Continue on God's path and strong in your marriage. the enemy is after the two of you. Praying for you and the work of God.
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Dr. O. P.
1/30/2016 07:26:54 pm
As a psychologist I feel that it comes a time to let go. If your anxiety and stress is causing you focus on someone else's needs verses your own needs it is time to look at your options. I enjoy the Nowlin's and the contribution to our profession and their Christian walk. They are also amazing in television together. They have a special bond.
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Yolonda C
1/30/2016 07:34:50 pm
When it begins to destroy who you are and you can't find yourself. Get out. Great article.
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Synthia Patler
1/30/2016 07:37:47 pm
I believe that you must work through you problems. Divorce is never an option. I appreciate the pervious comments and I am not in their shoes. Do all you can. Pray and forgive.
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Hope Frazer
1/30/2016 08:29:22 pm
Appreciate the article and the videos. keep them coming. It is so needed. You are a power couple indeed.
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Susan Christian
8/5/2021 05:54:37 pm
Hello to everyone out here, I am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me … My name is Susan Christian , I live in London, UK. we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do, i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Emu for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 24 hours my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr Emu casted on him that make him come back to me today, me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Emu for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact Dr Emu ,if you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: emutemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website https://emutemple.wordpress.com/ fb page Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple-104891335203341 and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.
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Maria Willsfort
8/28/2021 04:09:02 am
I need somewhere to begin this testimony. I am Maria Willsfort from Pennsylvania. I am writing this in favor of Priest Odunga who helped me bring my ex husband back to me in just 24 hours after 4 years of divorce. This spell caster helped me save my marriage within 24 hours and I still can't believe my ex husband came back to me to apologize. It must be relieving for people who got their true love back with help online from a trusted spell caster and I will say that the contact of Priest Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail. com really changed my life because my ex husband, as proud as he is, came back kneeling down in front of me. I still can't believe that spell casting is real and for this, I am very grateful to Priest Odunga for his work. I am very much happy with my relationship. I really believe Priest Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail. com as his email will help you solve your problem
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Sheila Donnell
8/28/2021 04:26:43 am
My purpose out here today is to share this article to the world about how Doctor Odunga helped me in getting back my ex-boyfriend that broke up with me 4 months ago. I tried all I could to make him see reasons with me so that we can continue our relationship but he denied me. Thank God for giving me the thought of going into the internet to search for help. I searched properly and I saw different reviews on Doctor Odunga and I insisted on giving it a try by contacting him via whats-app on (+2348167159012) and email. He gave me reason to live again and after He prepared the spell, He told me that my ex-boyfriend will come back to me within 28 hours. Can you believe it that my ex-boyfriend really came back and our wedding will be held soon. Contact him now if you need any help. Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and he does a lot of spells. Once again I want to say I'm very grateful for your help
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Wilson Fox
6/9/2022 12:59:29 pm
I suffered from what they called peripheral artery disease (PAD). I have been suffering for years, Me and my wife searched for a medical cure, and then we came across a testimony of a man who suffered the same and was cured by Dr Chief Lucky. So my wife and I contacted Dr Chief Lucky via an email and thank God he replied. I explained what was wrong and he sent me herbal medicines that helped heal me completely. I am happy to say that herbal medicine is the ultimate and Dr Chief Lucky I am grateful. You can contact him on his email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or whatsapp: +2348132777335, Facebook page: http://facebook.com/chiefdrlucky or website: https://chiefdrlucky.com/. Dr Chief Lucky said that he also specializes in the following diseases: LUPUS, ALS, CANCER, HPV, HERPES, DIABETES, COPD, HEPATITIS B, HIV AIDS, And more.
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